Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
