ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Semen is not good for contacts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
