Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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