Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
