You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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