Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize