I need help removing her.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
