If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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