You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
