I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
