It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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