porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
