just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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