I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
