somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
