Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
