wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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