how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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