You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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