addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
