I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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