no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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