For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
