I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
