his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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