You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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