trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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