So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
