We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
