at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
