There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
