the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
