What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
