That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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