exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
