Don't you send me to vm
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize