I'm gonna have a badass scar
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
