Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize