I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
