New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
