Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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