doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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