question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
