"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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