I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
