Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
