I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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