"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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