Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
