Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
