Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize