I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A bitchslap is in order.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
