; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
