I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
