Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize