and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
