Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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