Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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