Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
