He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
